I wish I could punch you in the face.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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