She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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