One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
