I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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