onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
