I feel great
I just peed on a car
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
