i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I skipped work to stalk him.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
