GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
