I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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