if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
