Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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