Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
