haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
