I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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