now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
