1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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