Your mouth is God's brothel.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
