Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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