I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
