addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
