bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
