Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Send help, water and tortillas.
third nipple confirmed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
