just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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