I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
