I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
