Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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