I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
PANTIES FOUND
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
