Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
how does that bad decision feel?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
