i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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