i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
