that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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