Don't you send me to vm
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
