it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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