omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
