Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
