just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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