I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
