I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
