There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize