Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's always time for handjobs
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
