she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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