I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
