No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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