im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
