I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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