it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
