And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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