if you like me you must not know who I am
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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