You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
