There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize