You're so nebulous sometimes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I cut my penus on the lid.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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