You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize