I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
