all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize