Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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