i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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