Me. At least after what I've been through.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
