Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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